The Cat From Hell – A Not-So-Merry Catastrophe
So there’s this game, right? It’s called Cat From Hell – Cat Simulator. Weird name for a game but hey, I’m intrigued. It’s by Upscale Studios, and it’s all about Christmas, cats, and chaos. It was supposed to be a good laugh. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
Picture this: you, a cat, dropped off by Santa (of all people—like, what?) into a house with another cat already there. Sounds like a Netflix holiday rom-com but with cats. Anyway, your mission? Total destruction. Knock grandma’s precious vase off the table, or maybe shred some curtains—heck, make a mess with the fish tank. It’s your playground, or so they say.
Right, so the setup is Christmas night. Santa’s been messy, dropped a cat into this house. You, the new feline, cause trouble, break a vase or two, and grandma’s watching everything. Grandma sees you, you’re toast. It’s about framing the other cat, getting them kicked out. Fun, right? It could’ve been slapstick gold, but hmm, not so much.
Imagine sneaking around, aiming to break that vase, then woops—grandma gets stuck behind a chair. Nothing moves. It’s like she’s on a treadmill to nowhere. You’re just waiting around for her to figure it out—awkward. And the supposed rival cat? Sometimes it gets stuck too, like it’s trying to Houdini its way out of a couch. Game wonks, I swear.
And let me tell you, the way your paws look when you’re doing cat things… it feels like you’re playing in an old-school, pixelated world. Clunky animations, like they were lifted straight from a PS2 bargain bin. And grandma’s voice? Compressed to oblivion—yikes. Audio’s not much better either, aside from a catchy Christmas remix that can’t quite save the day.
Now, if you’re the trophy-hunting type, well, there isn’t a Platinum trophy, which is such an odd move for a game like this. There’s a Sandbox Mode, which is just you and grandma hanging out—rival cat booted. Not much of a thrill, if you ask me.
I dived into Cat From Hell hoping for fun, but it’s a barely glued-together mess. The glitches, funky AI, you name it—it’s all there. On PlayStation 5 it sorta works, if you squint hard enough. Does framing the other cat ever work? Maybe sometimes. But mostly, it doesn’t. Even with a price tag of $4.99, it’s tough to say “go for it” on PS5. Just nope.
Anyway, that’s my two cents. Maybe it gets better with updates. Or maybe I just got the short straw. Who knows?
