Your controller is acting all funky. Anyway, back at Radio Free Nintendo, there’s something about that giant ape that just sticks with us. Was it during the iconic Now Playing segments? Can’t remember precisely. But, thinking about it, were we spot on with calling Donkey Kong “The Big Ape”? And hey, here’s a tangent for you—let’s dive into what makes an ape, according to the Center for Great Apes.
Hair vs. fur—who knew how it grows was the difference? DK’s got that slick hair, so let’s check that box. Fingernails? Yup, seen ’em in some artwork (even if the guy’s usually got fists clenched). Opposable thumbs? Again, those fists. High intelligence? I mean, he ties a tie and drives—ever seen a marmot do that? As for prehensility, let’s just say those fists are working overtime. Fingerprints and smells? No clue here.
I’m thinking we’ve got enough to classify DK as an ape. But wait, there’s more. Did you know people mix up apes and monkeys all the time? The big give-away? Tails. Apes don’t have ’em, monkeys do. So there you go, Diddy Kong, you little monkey, you’re not making the ape cut. And yeah, you probably won’t outlast DK either—sorry pal.
Then there was that Donkey Kong Bananza Direct on Wednesday—somewhere around 15 minutes of what-the-heck-is-happening gameplay. The big reveal? DK has a new sidekick, young Pauline. Talk about lore spirals! But honestly, enough memes exist already, so I’m skipping that rabbit hole. Let’s focus: Pauline = human = ape, Diddy = not. And, here’s a kicker—DK might just be prepping for Diddy’s inevitable exit.
Switching gears, James is knee-deep in the chaos of Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. It’s this cascade of crafting—ore, saws, trees, tools, more tools. Utterly confusing. And yeah, he’s begging for help.
We had to take five after that. Then Jon jumps in, drowning in consoles—trying to swap them out at GameStop. Enter Special Agent Steve from InfoSec—plot twist much? It’s a wild chase, that’s for sure. Oh, and Greg updates us on Mario Kart World and F-Zero GX, noting Switch 2’s racing game lineup. Big stuff there. Guillaume and James also tested out the new GameChat—streamed games and got some hands-on with the Switch 2 Pro Controller.
Last bit here, we fiddled around with marketing pitches for all the companies in Mario Kart World. Got any ideas? Send them our way.
*Quick note: I know I called it a nom de guerre, which makes no sense since it’s not an alias or epithet. Just a nickname. I’ll mix these up forever, guaranteed.
